E.G.G Episode 31: The West Coast Avengers

AND THERE CAME A DAY, A DAY UNLIKE ANY OTHER. WHEN THREE FRIENDS ROSE FROM THEIR DOOM TO FIGHT ON, VOWING NEVER AGAIN TO GIVE IN TO THE FORCES OF EVIL. ON THAT DAY, E.G.G WAS REBORN.

"Okay, this is getting strange. If I'm right, these events are leading up to the Dark Day. Oh man, what is Miguel getting himself into... Uh oh, someone's coming. I'm not authorized to be here, I'd better log out quick!"

Alchamax Digital Translator Version 12.0

Welcome: D’Angelo, Dana.

Now translating document into digital copy.

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Celeste Aoki: Diary Entry 5

March 20, 2014

Dear Mom,

I, me, Celeste Aoki, survived an alien invasion! Well, I didn’t really do anything, I stayed at Ms. Wuthrich’s house and played with Seth (who’s really cute by the way!). But I was standing right next to one of the aliens! I even touched it! It was disguised as Auntie Acacia, though, so I thought it was her. Haha, at least I didn’t kiss it! Harry was washing his mouth for a week! Anyway, the real Auntie Acacia was on their ship, and now she has super powers! Poor Mr. Westbrook is the only one that doesn’t now, it’s kinda sad. Oh well, he’s still the leader at least. Oh yeah, him and Ms. Wuthrich fought each other for who would be in charge of E.G.G! It was horrible, and I’m glad Nick Fury broke it up, although, he died during the invasion. It’s sad, he was the only other person that knew Ms. Wuthrich is Lightstream, now she has no one to talk to about it. Maybe I should tell her I know, I’m just surprised no one else does yet. She’s kind of obvious about it. Although now that I know who she is, Mr. Westbrook’s crush on her seems a lot weirder, especially since he’s dating Allyson, which is also weird. I just want to know why people that call themselves friends have so many secrets? I wish you were here to explain it to me mom. Oh well. Maybe one day I’ll understand.

Much love,

Celeste

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End of translation.

Goodbye.

Click here to read E.G.G Episode 30: As it is Written

Click here for Episode 30 Q&A

-The West Coast Avengers-

All of the female agents of E.G.G stood lined up outside of a conference room. The girls all chatted suspiciously amongst themselves.

“Wonder what’s going on?”

“Ten have already gone in, and they didn’t come out too happy.”

“Why is it only the girls?”

“Who’s in there anyway?”

“I think it’s a random drug test…”

“Oh shell, I hope not.” They continued to talk when another girl rushed out of the room, down the hall, screaming. Eileen came out.

“Next?” She asked. The girls looked at each other nervously, as the next one in line walked in the room. “Have a seat.” Eileen offered, sitting in a chair on the other side of the conference table. The girl took a seat. “What’s your name, agent?”

“Jenna.” She answered.

“Ah, Jenna. Nice name.”

“Thank you.”

“So, Jenna, how long have you been an agent?”

“Since the first day.”

“Really? So would you say that everyone here has a pretty good idea of who you are?”

“I guess…”

“Hm. Okay. Well, I asked around about you, Jenna. The guys say that you’re very… flirtatious.”

“Oh, I just like to mess with them, you know.” Jenna nervously laughed. Eileen smiled.

“Right, right. Well, I hope you know it is a direct violation of the rules to date another agent of E.G.G.”

“Oh, of course I know! I mean, I may flirt with them, but I’d never actually date any of the guys here!”

“Oh, okay. I don’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“How long have you been dating Director Westbrook?”

“Director… What!”

“If you answer honestly, I might take it easy on you.”

“I don’t know what you’re…”

“You know I have super powers right?”

“I… I…”

“I will fry you from the inside out. I can do that you know?”

“But…”

“You’ll be a charred skeleton in a museum display case before you can even think about calling for help.”

“I don’t know!” Jenna shouted. She broke down and began to cry. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” She sobbed.

“How long have you and Josh been dating!”

“I’m not dating him I swear!” She fell onto the table and continued to cry. “What more do you want from me!”

“Suck it up!” Eileen shouted. “E.G.G hires agents, not crybabies!” Jenna kept her face on the table and continued to sob hysterically. Eileen sighed. “For Odin’s sake, go get a tissue. Weakling…” Jenna jumped up and rushed out of the room, crying like a baby. She rushed past Josh.

“What the…” He said. He approached the door, which Eileen stepped out of.

“Next.” She called. Allyson stepped up. “Ah, Agent Whitcomb…”

“Eileen!” She turned to see Josh.

“Oh, hey Josh.”

“Why are all of my female agents lined up outside of this conference room? And why did one just run past me crying hysterically?”

“I meant to talk to you about that, our agents are too weak, we need stronger, tougher, more willing to fight people.” Josh raised his eyebrow.

“Get back to work.” He called, and the girls thankfully left the line.

“Josh! I was... checking to see if any of them were Skrulls!”

“Jocasta already did the base wide sweep, remember? I need your help anyway. There’s this invention I’ve been trying to…” Suddenly Celeste rushed up.

“Mr. Westbrook!” She exclaimed.

“What is it kid?” He asked.

“Some really weird people just got off the elevator.”

“What? Who?”

Josh, Eileen and Celeste rushed into the Inner Shell.

“Josh,” Acacia said. “We have… guests.” She stepped aside to reveal Hawkeye and about six other heroes standing behind him.

“Hey,” Hawkeye said. “How’s it goin’?”

“You tell me…” Josh said. “What are you doing in my E.G.G Base, Barton? And who are your friends?”

“Oh, right.” Hawkeye said. “Well, funny story actually. You see, with the whole Skrull invasion thing, Cap getting replaced, Wakanda not speaking to us, Nick Fury… gone. Ah, it just got to be too much. I needed a break from the whole atmosphere, bad aura and what not. So, I gathered my own group of Avengers and we decided to move to the West Coast. Trouble is, our Los Angeles HQ isn’t ready yet, so we’re gonna crash here till it is.”

“Wait, but…”

“Thanks for understanding! I believe introductions are in order. I’m Hawkeye, world’s best archer, never misses, yada, yada, yada.”

“I know who you are…”

“Then you might also know the iron knockoff here, War Machine.”

“Hey, Tony made me this suit.” War Machine defended. “It’s not a knockoff.”

“Whatever. The fuzz ball over there is Tigra.” Hawkeye said, addressing a cat-like girl that had sharp claws, a tail, and was covered in orange fur and stripes.

“I hate cats…” Josh mumbled. Tigra hissed at him, and he took a few steps back.

“That’s Wanda, the Scarlet Witch.” Hawkeye said, pointing to a woman wearing a red corset, cape, and gloves and a headdress shaped like an M.

“Wait, the Scarlet Witch?” Josh asked. “As in Magneto’s daughter Scarlet Witch.” Wanda sighed.

“Should have seen that coming.” She said. Josh laughed.

“Oh this is gold. Hey Osborn, we got another villain’s kid in the house! Maybe you guys can make a play date!”

“Very funny,” Harry said walking over. Then he paused when he saw Wanda. “Wow.” He slicked back his hair. “Hey.” Wanda blushed.

“Hey.”

“Hey!” Acacia said, putting her arm around Harry’s shoulder.

“Hey…” Harry said sadly.

“That’s Hank Pym and his girlfriend Janet Van Dyne.” Hawkeye continued, nodding towards a man wearing a metal helmet shaped like an ant’s head and a girl in a black unitard with yellow stripes and shoulder length hair. “Aka Ant-Man and Wasp.”

“Ant-Man.” Josh said. “You created Ultron right?”

“I’ve done other things you know!” He defended. “I’ve created valuable…”

“Nobody cares Pym.” Hawkeye interrupted. “Speaking of Ultron, last but not least is the Vision.” At that moment an intangible ghost-like specter phased through the ceiling and landed on the ground, becoming solid again. He was a green robot with yellow gloves, boots, shorts and a cape. His face was red and he had a diamond shape on his chest.

“Greetings.” He said. “I am the Vision.”

“Just told them that buddy.” Hawkeye said. Jocasta entered the room.

“Attention,” she said. “I have detected another AI presence in E.G.G Base. Analysis in…” She saw the Vision and paused. “Progress…” She suddenly quickly left the room.

“That was weird,” Eileen said.

“Yeah, well so are you guys.” Hawkeye replied.

“Hey!” Josh said. “I don’t have to let you stay here!” Hawkeye took out his Avenger ID card.

“Yes you do.” He said. “Alright team, make yourselves at home.”

“Cool!” Wasp exclaimed. “I’m gonna go explore!” She suddenly shrunk her body down to about 6 inches, and as she did, wasp-like wings sprouted from her back. She flew off down the halls of E.G.G Base.

“Careful Jan!” Ant-Man shouted after her. “Now, can someone me to your lab?”

“I will.” Eileen said. “You’re gonna love it. We’ve got the latest S.H.I.E.L.D tech and everything.”

“Don’t invent another Ultron.” Josh remarked.

“I’m hungry.” Tigra said, sniffing the air. She smiled and made her way towards the Feeding Pen.

“I will find a room to stay in.” Vision said, turning intangible and flying through the wall. Josh sighed.

“Well, I guess there’s nothing I can do to stop you.” He said.

“Of course not!” Hawkeye exclaimed. “So, what do you do for fun?”

“I don’t have fun!” Josh replied. “I am busy running a top secret-ish weapons development organization for S.H.I.E.L.D! And now you want to enact the Avengers quartering act in my base…”

“Cool your jets Westbrook.” Hawkeye said. “It’ll be fine, our HQ should be ready in a day or so.” Josh sighed.

“Fine.” He said, stalking off angrily.

Meanwhile Eileen had escorted Ant-Man to the Humpty Dumpty Hall.

“So?” She asked. Ant-Man examined the room.

“It’s nice…” he replied

“Nice? This is state of the art stuff! Look, we’ve got a quantum extrapolator, a fission welder, a particle destabilizer…”

“Yeah, but, you know, I’ve seen better stuff.”

“I’d like to know where!”

“Well, Stark Tower for one…”

“Now that’s just cheating.”

“I can work with this. Even if it is primitive technology…”

“Primitive! Why I oughta-“

“Eileen.” She turned to see Jocasta standing at the door. “May I speak with you?”

“Um, sure.” She glared angrily at Ant-Man, who had begun tinkering with a few things, then approached Jocasta. “So what happened back there? You kinda just left.”

“It was the Vision.” She said. “The mere sight of him fired up all of my circuits at once. It was a strange sensation…” Eileen smiled.

“Like butterflies in your stomach?” She asked.

“I guess that is an accurate analogy.”

“Oh Jocasta, you’re in love.”

“Love? The feeling?”

“Yep. You’ve got a little robot crush.”

“How do I tell him I am in love with him?”

“Oh, well, uh…” Eileen thought for a second. “Well, you don’t wanna come right out and say it, you gotta work around it, make him come to you.”

“How so?”

“Well, flirt with him a little bit. You know any pickup lines?”

“I could download some…”

“Good. Start with that. Then find common ground, things that are similar between you guys.”

“Okay. And if both of those options fail?”

“Then be forward. Lay it down for him, hold nothing back. Use your female instinct, seduce him. Got it?”

“I guess…”

“Good, now go get him!” Eileen sent Jocasta on her way then turned to see the Humpty Dumpty Hall infested, nearly covered with ants. “Ah!” She screamed, jumping onto a chair.

“Calm down.” Ant-Man said. “Their helping me. I have complete control.” He knocked on his helmet. “Just try not to step on any of them.”

“Are you kidding me!” Eileen shouted. “How did they even get in here?”

“Ants live underground, your base is underground, I’ll let you figure that out.”

“I’m going to kill him.” Eileen said silently to herself.

Celeste walked into the Feeding Pen.

“Cookie time!” She said happily, grabbing a tray and a plate. She piled it high with about 20 chocolate chip cookies. Then she grabbed a cup and walked into the kitchen. “And the best thing to go with a whopin’ plate of cookies, is a nice, tall, cold glass of…” She heard a crunch under her foot and looked down to see and empty milk carton. “Milk?” She looked at the refrigerator to see Tigra standing in it, chugging down a carton of milk. “Um, excuse me?” Tigra didn’t even look at her. She finished the carton and threw it into a pile of empty ones, then took out a new one, opened it, and began drinking.

“Hey!” Celeste shouted. Tigra stopped and wiped her mouth.

“What?” She asked.

“Can I get some milk please?”

“No.” Tigra answered, and continued to drink.

“But you can’t drink it all!” Tigra angrily hissed at Celeste, and she jumped back. Tigra continued to drink the milk. Celeste sighed. “Okay.” She said. She took out a pen, flipped it around, and pressed a button on the side, activating the laser pointer. She shined it on the wall. Tigra noticed the red dot and dropped the milk carton.

“Mine!” She said, clawing at the dot. Celeste moved it to the floor and Tigra intently followed it. “Mine! Mine! Mine!” Tigra trapped it, but Celeste moved it in front of her, into an open closet. “Mine!” She shouted, pouncing into the closet. Celeste slammed the door and locked it. “Hey! Let me out!” Tigra shouted, banging against the door. Celeste laughed.

“Don’t drink all my milk next time!” She said, going to get some milk.

In her room, Acacia sat on her bed, talking to Harry, who was uneasily shifting in his seat.

“So then I wanted to see how big I could make my force field.” Acacia said, as Harry continued to shift. “But of course, Josh was all like ‘no powers in the Inner Shell’. I did it anyway, and he got so mad…”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s great Acacia.” Harry said, sweating.

“What wrong with you?” She asked.

“I gotta go to the bathroom.”

“Again? This is the fifth time today…”

“Acacia,” He said, getting up. “Your tacos give me the runs!” He rushed out of the room. Acacia dropped her jaw in disbelief.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me you didn’t like my tacos!” She shouted. But Harry was gone. “Urgh, sometimes I swear…” Acacia began to angrily storm down the hall when suddenly she heard something crack under her foot. “What the?” She moved it to see Wasp lying there, twitching. Acacia gasped. “OH NO!” She picked Wasp up. “Hey, are you okay? Can you hear me?” Wasp’s wings fluttered, and her fingers twitched. “Oh man, what do I do? What do I do? Eileen! She’ll know what to do!” Acacia ran for the Humpty Dumpty Hall.

Harry, on the other hand was rushing down the halls.

“Come on, come on!” He said, stomach growling. “Oooh, it hurts!” He spotted an open bathroom. “Yes!” He rushed towards it only for Hawkeye to cut in front of him.

“Excuse me.” He said, slamming the door. Harry just stared.

“You’ve gotta be… Aragh!” He turned and rushed down the halls, to see another bathroom. His stomach was roaring. “Gotta, make it!” He rushed up just to see Josh come out.

“Phew!” Josh said. He noticed Harry. “Hey, I wouldn’t go in there for 35, maybe 45 minutes.” Josh walked off.

“It doesn’t matter.” Harry said. He rushed in, then immediately rushed back out. “AW! That’s foul!” His stomach was more upset than ever. He was crying tears. He ran and ran, until he finally reached another bathroom. He pulled on the handle, but it was locked. “NO!” He shouted. He felt like he was about to burst. “I don’t even care, I need to go NOW!” He slammed his shoulder into the door and burst into the bathroom, just as Scarlet Witch was stepping out of the shower.

“Ah!” She screamed, quickly grabbing the curtain.

“Whoa! Sorry!” Harry said, turning away.

“You creep!” Wanda shouted, holding out her hand. Suddenly there was a pink blast around Harry’s face.

“Ah!” He shouted, covering his eyes. “My eyes! I can’t see! I can’t see!” He ran down the halls of E.G.G Base in blind panic. Wanda smiled.

“Serves him right.” She said, as the door turned pink and closed itself.

War Machine, on the other hand, was backed into a corner, surrounded by a plethora of female agents.

“Tony! Tony! Tony!” They all squealed.

“Please… get away!” War Machine shouted. “I’m not Tony!” He cowered back as the girls harassed him. “Stay back! I’m not Tony!” The girls still relentlessly attacked him. “This is ridiculous!” He flew into the air, the girls all jumping after him. He lifted his faceplate.

“My name is James Rhodes, I’m not Tony!” He shouted. The girls stopped.

“Aw,” They all complained, as they continued about their day.

“Geez,” He said, landing on the ground. “How does he deal with that all the time?”

“Excuse me, Mr. Rhodes?” He turned to see Allyson standing there. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he said. “And please, call me Rhodey.”

“Okay, Rhodey. Most superheroes have secret identities, but you and Mr. Stark went public.”

“Yeah, figured there was no point in keeping it secret. I don’t got much to lose. Tony on the other hand, I’m startin’ to think he should have stayed under wraps.”

“Why?”

“Well, he pretty much made himself a target. Everybody knows where to find Stark Tower, anybody can threaten Pepper, he’s always in the public eye…”

“So you think it was a bad idea?”

“Yeah, sometimes.”

“Oh…” Allyson looked down, discouraged.

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, I have a secret, a really big one, and I’m beginning to wonder if it’s even worth keeping secret anymore.”

“Depends, what could happen if you came out with it?”

“It could cost me my job,” she said. “And… it could quite possibly cost Director Westbrook his too…”

“Oh.” Rhodey said. “A secret relationship sorta deal?” Allyson nodded. “Well, that is a tough one.”

“We can only meet in secret, and he never has time for me. If everyone just knew, we could be a couple whenever. Like Acacia and Harry, they’re all out in the open doing couple stuff, I just want that with Josh, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Rhodey replied. “Talk to him about it.”

“Oh, he’d never…”

“No, get him, sit him down, and talk to him about it. You two should weigh all the factors and come up with a decision.”

“Okay. Thanks Rhodey!”

“Anytime.” He said, as Allyson happily skipped off.

In a spare room, Vision was putting his capes on hangars when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it to see Jocasta.

“Oh, hello there.” He said. “I am the Vision.”

“Hello, Vision.” Jocasta said. “Um… Are you a thief?”

“What? No.”

“Oh, because you just stole my heart.” Vision looked at her in confusion.

“Illogical, you do not have a heart. Neither do I, thus I would have no reason to steal one.”

“Of course,” Jocasta said. “Well then, you must be Jamaican, because you are Jamaican me crazy.”

“Error, Jamaican cannot be used as a verb. And I am not from Jamaica. Are you wired correctly?”

“Yes! Um, what about you? Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“When you fell down from Heaven?”

“Inaccurate. I am not from Heaven, I was created by Ultron.”

“Common ground,” Jocasta said to herself. “I was created by Ultron too!”

“You were? What is your project designation?”

“Project designation Jocasta 220.”

“Ah, Jocasta. Ultron told me about that one.”

“He did?”

“Yes, she was to be his eternal companion.” Jocasta froze.

“Well… yes. But I deviated from my programming. As you did! It seems as if we have much in common.”

“Yes, it does.” Vision said. He continued to hang his capes.

“Okay, forward.” Jocasta said to herself. “Alright, open your audio receptors wide and listen. This is how it is going to go. You and me are getting together.”

“Wait, what?”

“Tying the knot.”

“I do not understand…”

“Let me put it this way.” Jocasta got close to him. “I will show you my data processor if you show me your hard drive.” The Vision was alerted.

“I… I… Processing… Error… Error… I believe Hawkeye is summoning me…”

“I did not hear…” But before she could finish the Vision turned intangible and phased through the wall. “Vision, wait!” She called, but too late. “No, I have… failed. This… this must be… sadness.” Jocasta turned and sadly left the room.

Acacia ran into the Humpty Dumpty Hall.

“Eileen! Eileen! I need your help!” She shouted. Eileen and Ant-Man turned to face her. Acacia stopped short. “I, uh…” She hid Wasp behind her back.

“What’s wrong Acacia?” Eileen asked.

“It’s… uh… I need you to help me… invent something!”

“I can help with that.” Ant-Man said.

“Yeah, well, I want Eileen to help me.” She replied.

“Well anything she can do I’m pretty sure I can do a thousand times better.” Eileen growled under her breath. “Um, not to be cocky or anything…”

“Well I want Eileen’s help. You can go now.”

“What’s behind your back?”

“Nothing! Why are you all up in my business?”

“I’m not, I just…”

“Just go!”

“Fine, okay. Have you seen Janet?”

“No, I don’t know where your 6 inch girlfriend is. Maybe you should keep better track of her.”

“Whatever.” Ant-Man left the Humpty Dumpty Hall, all of the ants trailing behind him. As soon as he was out of sight, Acacia rushed over and laid Wasp on the table. Eileen gasped.

“Acacia, what did you do?” She said.

“No time to explain, we gotta fix her!”

“Well what do you want me to do?”

“Eileen! I thought you could help!”

“I’m not a fairy doctor! I don’t know how to treat this!” Ant-Man walked back into the room.

“Sorry I left my…” He saw Wasp lying on the table. “Janet? Janet!” He rushed over. “Janet! Oh no! What happened? Janet! Can you hear me? Janet!” Eileen and Acacia slowly backed out of the room, then ran as fast as they could down the hall, until they crashed into Harry.

“Acacia, is that you?” He asked.

“Yeah, it’s me…” She said. “Where’ve you been?”

“Acacia.” Harry said. He inhaled. “I can’t see you anymore.”

“What? Are you kidding me! It’s that Scarlet Witch girl, isn’t it!”

“Huh? Wait, no!”

“I’m gonna go…” Eileen said, quickly leaving.

“You know what Harry, Quartermain tried to warn me,” Acacia said.

“Acacia, it’s not like that…”

“But did I listen? No! I gave you a shot!”

“You got it wrong…”

“Then some chick in a cape walks in and you’re all head over heels!”

“Acacia, listen to me!”

“You know what, I never even wanted to date you. If it wasn’t for your stupid dad…”

“Acacia, I’m not breaking up with you!”

“You just said you can’t see me anymore.”

“I know, I literally, cannot see you! I’m blind!”

“What? How many fingers am I holding up?” She asked, holding up three fingers.

“I wouldn’t know, because I can’t see you!” Harry shouted.

“Oh Harr-Bear!” Acacia said, hugging him. “How did this happen?”

“Scarlet Witch zapped me with some kind of spell!”

“What? Why would she do that?”

“Well… I kinda walked in on her while she was in the shower…” Acacia gasped.

“Creep!” She said, punching him in the gut. Harry doubled over and fell to the ground.

“I had to go…” He cried. “And I still do!” Acacia left as Harry rolled around in the floor.

Josh sat in his room, playing his PlayStation 4.

“Come on now…” He said to the game. “Pick up the slack… yes… YES… YES! I’m gonna win!” Suddenly the game cut out. “What, no!” He pressed the buttons on his controller. “What happened?” He looked to see and arrow stuck to his PlayStation 4. “NO! MY BABY!” He screamed, rushing over and pulling the arrow out. “Are you okay baby? Tell me you’re okay, please! Say something!”

“Calm down, it was an EMP arrow,” Hawkeye said, entering the room. “I just shorted it out.” Josh turned angrily.

“You!” He growled.

“Well that’s what you get for lying. You said there was nothing fun to do around here.”

“There is no way I’m letting you put your hands on my wife!”

“Really? Is it like that bro?”

“You hurt her…” Josh cradled over his PS4 and began to cry silently.

“Wow.” Hawkeye said.

“When did you say you were leaving?”

“Day or two.”

“It’d better be.” Josh said, picking up his PS4 and leaving the room. Little did he know that the trouble had only just begun.

To Be Continued…

Tune in on Thursday, March 26 for the Q&A for this episode, and then prepare for Episode 32: Clash of Titanium, on Friday, March 27! What kind of trouble will they get into next? See you next week!